? Fallen Ballerina ?

by Gaia Mosca & Ija Birman

I remember this little girl dancing around the house, dreaming to be a ballerina.
She used to smile at life in empty joy , she used to dream.
She did not worry about what was around her, she just wanted to dance and be free.
That little girl is grown up now.'
She's lost in a lonesome darkness.
She sits in a small dark box, trying to escape from what she can't .
From a small tainted window she sees the world around her, she sees children having joy which causes tears to overfill her eyes and sadly they don't see her and the pain that she's drowning in.
Shes ignored, ignored by the world and herself. She's too focused on everything what's going bad and does not see the beautiful side of life.
She curses the sun for rising in the morning and prays for the dark to overtake again.
She doesn't know what it feels like to be loved and she believes she'll never know.
She's afraid, afraid to make a single sound, afraid she'll never scream loud enough to be heard, her voice is weakened and the lump in her throat wont ever let her talk.
She's too tired , too tired to exist in the world that she doesn't fit in to.
She feels empty, lonely, dead.
She wishes to go back and be that girl that was full of happiness but the pain that drowns her everyday keeps on dragging her back into the deep ocean of sorrow.
The more she tries to scream and fight against it, the more water she swallows and deeper she goes.
There's always an end to happiness but there's never an end to emptiness.
"I'll never be enough" that's what she repeats to herself every night.
She cries and cries, she wants to put an end to her story but she's not even strong enough to do that.
She's alive for her parents, for her friends but not for herself.
She can't call herself alive, she does exist , she isn't dead.
She's a body filled with pain and she remains so, until the day comes when the risk to remain in the bud becomes more painful than the risk it will take to blossom.

Door: ijzhang

Meld misbruik!
Reageer Via:

Meld misbruik!
The first story we wrote together and still cant stop reading it
Take the risk to blossom. You can do that in your writing. Prachtige titel...Hoop meer van jullie te lezen. Dank je wel voor het delen

Meld misbruik!
Wauh, wat goed. Kreeg tranen in mijn ogen. Ken dat gevoel zo goed. Misschien is dat het! Ik ben nooit genoeg/ ik doe het nooit goed... wat kwellen we ons daarmee. Ik weet inmiddels een beetje hoe het komt en waar het mee te maken heeft. Maar... het gevoel wat jullie beschrijven zit er soms nog in situaties die moeilijk en lastig zijn... Kan het niet zo goed verwoorden als jullie. Die zin: there is never an end to emptiness...ohhh... dat voel ik nu, omdat ik me in de steek gelaten voel, niet begrepen en eenzaam. Een oud gevoel. Thanks a lot for sharing.

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